another year comes and goes

so this last year has been quite eventful for our family: we got another brother, as well as a brother-in-law, garrett graduated, kim got married, moved away, and is now expecting a kid (she thinks a girl), i got a job where i have to talk to people all the time, garrett works at nike now, john is speaking fairly good english now, i destroyed my car, my parents have changed churches and priceless granite is still in business; all in all, a pretty full year.

now to look ahead though. i worked last night and so i didn't go to any year-end parties and so when i got home, i took some time to study. my mind naturally started to wondering and i ended up thinking about the year and what i wanted to change for this next year. i think about sin, study habits, loves, and how i spend my time often but i must say that i am rather lazy. i enjoy sitting in a comfy chair with a cup of coffee and just thinking about whatever comes into my head, that's enjoyable to me. i know that there is nothing wrong with thinking, many people my age need to do much more thinking and less time moving, but for me, i want to work on thinking actively, with pen in hand and thinking about things and pushing the envelope. i want to stop being complacent. this is going to be very difficult for me. this will be difficult because i get tired easy and when i get tired, i get cranky. i don't want that to be me though, i want to have joy in all of this.

so basically, i want this to be a year where i fight myself and my natural tendencies so that i can become a person whom i want to be. the person whom i am now is no good. i turn 21 this year, i think it is time to grow up.