Sunday, November 28, 2010

Be Still

it seems like there are tons of people around me who are going through tough times at the moment. things just seem to be going poorly for people. i wouldn't say that things are going awesome for me but i would say that i am used to things not being perfect and so when things aren't good in my life, i'm completely fine with it. this is not to brag that i handle things well but more to say that my life isn't going perfect and thus disqualify me from making the following comments. my life is generally a struggle, but a good struggle.
i was thinking about these people around me though and trying to think of something to tell them that would encourage them and help them get through these tough times. i was thinking about it and an old song that i used to sing in choir came to mind. the song is called "Be Still" and it is based off of Psalm 46:10a "Be still, and know that I am God." the verses leading up to this verse is all about the works of God and all that he can do and does, mostly in a wartime setting. verse 10 is then just kinda thrown in there almost as if to make us stop and take a double take at this verse. the author then gives the sum up and calls us back to the point that he was trying to make and the point that he introduced in the beginning, that God is our fortress, our refuge and strength.
i like the first part of verse 10 though, "Be still" our culture is all about going and moving, more coffee to keep us going, and more stuff to keep our attention from ever having to think on it's own. this verse is just telling us to stop, sit down, and KNOW that God is God. that is a chilling thing to think about. to just sit and think about the fact that God is God and we are not and that we don't have to worry about anything, God is the one who moves mountains, He is the one who causes the seas to churn, and He is the one who causes all things to happen. we don't have to figure out why or how or anything, we just have to trust, do still, and know that He is God and that He is going to take care of it. we just must be faithful. God is God. He does it all.
we can worry about life and struggle and work to make things right, but we are not called to do that. we are called to be still and know that He is God. we can then think about what we should be doing, if anything, and go from there. first though, we must be still.

to take this even further though: while being still and figuring out what we can be doing, in all this, we must also be trusting that God will take care of it all. it isn't enough to know and think that He will take care of it all, we just actually trust Him to do it and to put our faith in Him to do it. faith requires action but this faith, this action, is probably going to be not action. it is going to be a trust God thing. what are you going to do about something? oh, i'm going to let God take care of it. this is actively non-active. this isn't laying in bed, trusting that God is going to pay your bills. this is busting your butt and trusting God to provide you with work so that you can pay your bills. if there is no work, then you continue to trust God and allow Him to work and bring you work. you don't need to worry about the lack of work, you just have to worry about what you are doing in the absence of the work. you are responsible for your time on earth, not on if work comes to you. if no work, then there is more time to witness about how you trust God to bring you work and He will then bring you work, though not always in the way that you think.
if something bad happens in your life, being still would mean that you don't worry about the bad in your life, but you rather look to God and see Him and His greatness and know that He is God and that He has ordained all things for some reason. bad things do happen and will always happen on this earth, we don't have to worry about finding bad things to happen to us, they will find us. what we have to worry about is how we handle them. it is easy to get mad or angry when bad things happen to us, and that would be the wrong response. we are called here to be still and know that He is God. so even when the bad things happen, we can know that a sovereign God is doing it, a God who is our refuge and strength. how can He be our refuge when He ordains bad things to happen to us? because while they may seem like bad things, they are for the best.

i think i should write more on this but my mind has just decided to shut down and so i am going to stop here.

Friday, August 6, 2010

God saves sinners

tonight we have our first "out of the box" event for a long time. as the intern, i'm kinda leading it, i guess, as such, i am going through the gospel and the things that it takes to be saved. going back to the basics is a really good thing to do. i have actually been having a hard day today and thinking through the gospel has been a great exercise for my encouragement. to think that there is a Holy God and we are sinful men and we are the ones who sinned. God then sent His only Son to die for our sins and then raised Him from the dead. all we must do it to confess that we have sinned and that it is only through Jesus Christ that we can be saved from our sin and that He will save us and we will be saved. this is an amazing and mind blowing truth. to think that God created us and yet rebelled and instead of killing us he provided a way for us to have union with Him again. that doesn't make sense to the human mind. we get even with people who wrong us, God, instead, gives us blessings.
i don't get excited much or about much even and yet i think i am getting excited about tonight. to have an opportunity to share this great news with people should be and will be a great treat for us as believers. i am still scared, but i pray that my excitement will over throw my selfish stupidity. God is in control, so why should i fear anything, silly me, haha. we serve a big God who loves to care for us.
as the people in Ethiopia say, "God is good, all the time"

Sunday, July 18, 2010

the joy of the Lord

it is fun to sit and listen to our church choir sing. i actually really enjoy this. there is something that i enjoy more than this though: to watch my brother John sing and listen and smile as he hears the words and music. he really loves to sing. it's awesome to watch. to think that God worked many crazy things together so that he could be here is something even more amazing. if God hadn't worked hundreds of things together, there would have been no way for him to be here now. yet here he is, sitting next to me, listening and singing songs to God. please continue to pray for him, we are not certain of the state of his soul. he understands sin, though i'm not sure as to how much he understands atonement and Christ's work on the cross for him. he really is a great kid.

it's also great to watch my other brother Garrett sing in the choir this year. he just started in the choir but he has always loved to sing, even though it bugs me at times. he is seriously always singing. i wish that i was like that. as christian, we are always to be singing our saviors praise, he does things. he really is always singing, even in the shower at times. it is cool to watch him grow up. he is still very much a kid most of the time with his friends, but he is good at being serious when he needs to be. he just needs to learn when to be serious at certain times, because unless he is called or told to lead, he doesn't so much. he'll grow up though, he is the most disciplined person i know so i know that it is just a matter of time. i do wish i could have fun like him. my idea of fun isn't so fun, i generally just read or something, but people love him. he really is a huge leader, i just am not sure how much he realizes this. anyways, i've got off topic. it has been great to watch him sing on sundays and then also tonight at the concert.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

"By this we know love..."

so tonight i was closing my eyes to go to bed and my mind was kinda sleepy but i wanted to go to sleep thinking of something good so i thought about a verse that i am studying to teach this wednesday.

1 John 3:16 "By this we know love, the he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers"

the first phrase really got me thinking and after a hour of thinking and 600 words, i figured i would write down some of my thoughts here.

"By this we know love..." how amazing is it that we know what love is because of what the Father and the Son has done for us. just as children learn to live and love from their parents, so we learn to live and love from our heavenly Father. we are His sons, we are like Him and so we should live and love like Him. in Matthew, we learn the greatest commandment, to love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strengthen, while the second greatest commandment is like it, that we should love our neighbor as ourselves.
as Christ gave up His life for us, so we should give our life to Him. if we give our life to Him, then we should live our life the way that He would want us to live it.

my mind is seriously going in a million different directions a million miles per hour because of this phrase. this verse reveals a trait of God in it's entirety and it is the trait that means that most to us because this trait is what saves us from ourselves and brings us back to God.
i'm having a hard time writing my thoughts down because of how awesome this verse is and what it means to us. we get to know and see God's love for us and we also get to know how we are to live our lives. this is what it is to be Christian, to live and love as Christ.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

first public day on the job

a few hours ago (i would say earlier today but it is no longer the same day so yeah) i taught for the first time this summer in one28. i am very surprised as to how comfortable i was speaking. it seemed normal and i wasn't really nervous to speak though i am always nervous about the content of my messages. i would say that i could have known my passage better. i think for this next time i will spend much more time mediating on the passage before i start to read about it and then mediate on it some more after i researched some. i just need to know the passage better. i have heard positive reports as to my delivery of it though it will be interesting to hopefully hear about the students response to the message after a small group or something. i hope that the message itself will draw much conversation because it probably does hit so close to home on so many of the students. i want to see people fall radically in love with Christ and with living for Him. this was my message in a nut shell.
well, i need to get up in a few hours so i am going to bed now. there is never enough time in a day.

Friday, June 11, 2010

problems with rain

well, i got up with morning and when i got out of the shower around 4, i could hear this very annoying buzzing sound but i could NOT find where it was coming from. so i just ignored it. i thought the neighbor has left some of the work equipment or something, oh well.
well, when i went outside to get a propane tank from the back so that my dad could fill it at work, i found the source of the rather annoying sound. there was a little box on the back wall of our house and when i went up and looked at it, it says TANK ALARM. hmmm.... i wonder which tank this is? so it was about 5 in the morning at this time and i had to leave and i knew my dad would be getting up any minute so i went and told him what was going on. he came out to turn off the alarm, which was a relief, and then went inside to do something or other. i then left for my morning meeting.
the ironic thing about all this is that just last night, we were talking about how we were hoping that we wouldn't have troubles with our septic tank, bam! we got a wee bit of trouble. oh well though, at least it isn't the morning of the wedding, right.

Monday, June 7, 2010

MY call

Psalms 24:3-6
Who shall ascend the hill of the LORD?
And who shall stand in his holy place?
4 He who has clean hands and a pure heart,
who does not lift up his soul to what is false
and does not swear deceitfully.
5He will receive blessing from the LORD
and righteousness from the God of his salvation.
6Such is the generation of those who seek him,
who seek the face of the God of Jacob.

so i am currently interning for one28, our church youth ministry, and one of the responsibilities i have is to teach on corporate one28 wednesday nights, so i have been studying to do so. perhaps the most annoying and amazing parts about this studying and work is the fact that you have to have a constant clear conscience before God in order to do it right. i have worked at another job this past school year and it never really matter what mood i was in at work. i could be mad, happy, or whatever and i could still polish granite to the same standard. studying and teaching God Word is not at all like this. i have to be pure. i have to have confessed and repented of everything i can think of that is sin in my life. i can't hold on to anything in this life in order to simply do my job, which is what makes this job difficult and at the same time, completely worth it. this job is not enjoyable when i want to sin or have just sinned, but it is enjoyable cuz it makes it so that i feel like i can't/shouldn't sin. i am compelled to do this job, and there is little else that i think is worth doing. i wish that i could do an easy job, i am the laziest person alive, i think. i wish i could do a job that doesn't take my whole being. yet i know that there is no other job that i can do and feel whole doing. there is nothing else that i prefer/want to do. i get to do what i want to do. are you?

Thursday, June 3, 2010

great cloud of witnesses

i must say that there is little better for the use of encouragement then christian fellowship and brotherly love. i started a new job this week at the church as the intern and while everyone around me is super busy with graduation and such, they are always quick to help me or offer me advice or to tell me something that i probably don't know or remember. it has been great thus far and i am excited for the rest of the summer. this is something that i could get used to, working with people who love their job, love God, and love you. it has been great.

Monday, May 31, 2010

Christology

Philippians 2:1-11
"So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, 2 complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. 3Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. 4Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. 5 Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, 6 who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, 7but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. 8And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. 9 Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, 10so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 11and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father."

i want to look at verse 6-11 specifically because, as far as i know, these sum up the infinite person of Christ and His deity fairly well (haha, sum up infinity, but yeah, i said it).

first, Jesus is in the form of God meaning that He is God. then He became a man through the virgin birth. by becoming a man, he became the ultimate servant for the more power that you give up, the greater the servant you become. the creator served the creation, you can't lower yourself much more and yet Christ did. He submitted to the Father's will towards us, to serve us so that we may have life with Him. to serve us, He sacrificed Himself on the cross. since He did this, the Father has greatly exalted Him and made it so that He is the only way for us to get to the Father. He is the only one to save. only through Him do we have eternal life for He is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. one day, every person and thing will confess that Jesus is Lord and this is all for the glory of the Father. so the Father glorified the Son, the Son glorifies the Father, the Son glorifies the Spirit and they all work together to show each other off. they are the epitome of love, for they love each person as much as themselves, serve each other, glorifying each other, and we, mankind, get to share in this in the fact that we were created for the glory of God. we were created so that the triune God could show Himself off through and to us. we are the example to the angels for how to act and worship. what a glorious thing. we are not robots or mindless zombies, but people who have wills that we are allowed to use to glorify God with.

we only have one life, are you going to use it the way the great triune God intended us to use it, for His glory and our satisfaction?

yes, God created us so that we would be most satisfied in this life when we are most saturated with Him. what a marvelous thing. our best life is the life that we are meant to live. the best thing that we can do is also the thing that we are supposed to do.

well, i can just keep going on this topic probably for eternity for God is infinite so i will end this here this time.

looming judgement

James 3:1 "Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness."

this verse has been in the back of my mind for awhile now and today, it is seriously looming over me. tomorrow i start my internship at the church and i have to finalize what passage i'm going to be teaching on this summer. just thinking through it all is seriously nerve racking. i feel very small, unlearned, and unqualified. "lucky" for me, i have an infinite God whom i can go do in prayer who will comfort and guide me as well as many older man around me who would love to help me if i asked. God is good to encourage we who are weak so that we can handle our small burdens of life for after He takes our burden of sin away, we have so little to worry about. all we must do is be faithful, which, in and of itself, is impossible for us, but through Christ, all things are possible.

Monday, May 24, 2010

here i stand, i can do no other

with the discussion of membership and apostasy, i would like to discuss offense and where we draw the line. i know i am young, but this is how i understand it and how i believe the bible stands on the topic and how i am going to live my life till proved otherwise.

the bible clearly says that the world will hate us, but not because of us (or at least it shouldn't be because of us, they should love us) but because of our message. we are to present our message the best we can so as to win men but men will still hate us unless God calls them. it is a very bad thing if the brethren has a problem with our message because they are to help us by way of accountability. so, what if a brother has a problem with our message? we are to sit down together and reason through scripture to either be reconciled or to agree that it is a minor doctrine and that there are 2 ways to understand it and that we are to both be fully convinced in our minds so that our conscience is clear.

where is the line though? where can we stop arguing and to live and differ in peace? the bible clearly draws lines as to where we can not fudge. the doctrine of Christ and of salvation and of the Trinity. i'm sure there are a few others but they escape me at the moment.

these things though are very much linked and important. they pertain to the kingdom of heaven:
- Christ: He is the Holy Son of God who is fully God and became fully man through the virgin birth. He then died on the cross and was buried and rose again on the third day. He was then taken up to heaven at the appointed time.
- salvation: when Christ died, He died for the sins of the world, taking all that sin upon Himself. He then defeated death by rising again, thus allowing us to rise again with Him in the last day.
- Trinity: Father, Son, and Holy Ghost: all separate and yet still one God. the Father is judge, the Son is the sacrifice and advocate for the elect, while the Spirit works salvation in the believer and works sanctification in him.

these things can not be altered

Saturday, May 22, 2010

personal holiness, but for who's sake?

i often find myself thinking about how i should be acting for my future congregation (if God gives me one) or future wife (again, if God gives me one :). i think about things like personal holiness, purity, knowing the bible, and things like these and how i need to have them in my life for their sakes, which is true, i should have them in my life for them, but truer still, i must have these sorts of things in my life for my sake and God's sake for i must desire a relationship with Him first BEFORE i can think of others.

when i say "before", so as to dispel some wrong notions, this "before" is not a measure of time but of importance. the first thing on a believer's mind should be God and how they (believer and God) are doing, and then second should be other people.

this comes back to the greatest commandment, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength" all commandments can be summed up in this one and the next one, "Love your neighbor as yourself" if you do these things perfectly, you fulfill the whole law. what a glorious thought! this shows that God had all male disciple (at least one thing) because God summed everything up into 2 things so that we could remember them :)

all things boil down to love so compare all that you do, if it is FIRST loving towards God and then loving towards ALL men, then you should do it.

(when i say "all men" i mean all but God does give some other laws about which men we are to follow at certain time, i.e. authority)

Monday, May 10, 2010

fill your mind with unseen things

of late, i have struggled upon the notion of having joy in life when there is so much sin, past and possible future, in my Mind that grieves me. How do you enjoy a person, God, when you know that you have and will continue to cause them pain?
i believe i have found a solution to beat the joy and the sin problem in my life and mind by way of a message given by SKH yesterday.
i must look at this in a logical progression.
first, how do we not sin? there is only one way that i see this could happen and that is if sin is removed from our minds. to have no sin in our thoughts would make it impossible for us to do, would it not? so then, the next question must be how do we remove sin from our mins? by replacing it with something else. so what can we put into our minds to replace the sin in our minds with something that is not sin? the only thing that is right and commanded to fill our minds (Mt. 22:34-40) is, in fact, God. He is the only one who can drive out sin and replace it with something better. but, what ho! Christ/God is also the thing that will bring us joy. by allowing Him to pervade our thoughts, we are filling our minds with what they were meant to be filled with. what a glorious and simple truth!
God created us so that He would be the greatest "thing" for us. this isn't arrogant but great, for He is infinite, eternal, and omnipotent. so He is always with us and we can't get away from Him. so to enjoy Him is good for He is always there to be enjoyed.

JUMP

i was thinking about it today, why don't we have more evangelist? the most common answer that most "christians" would give you if you were to ask them is, "well, i wasn't called to be an evangelist." how the devil do you know that? did God tell you? if you are hearing from God then you should be an evangelist.
no, i don't think it is a lack of calling. i think it is a lack of listening which is produced by a quantity of fear.
fear is a great motivator. if someone is afraid of me, i can make them do all sorts of things for me as long as i don't push them to far. now, replace me with the devil. he can make you not do many things (evangelize) by filling you with fear. he stops the kingdom of God from advancing because you are too afraid to do what you should be doing. the devil realizes that he has lost you but as long as he can make you not see the need to save everyone else, he doesn't lose any more. so he fills you with fear of people and gets you to focus only on yourself (i know God is sovereign, i am merely speaking on a human level here).
however, fear has an even worst cause and this should scare us more. fear is also the by-product of lack of faith, faith in God. we don't trust Him with many things, and if we don't trust Him with everything, then we have a fear of something. this fear produces sin, or possible could be or is sin on it's own.
i see this in myself as i think about witnessing to someone. i fear the unknown. i am scared of what might happen. this is how i know that other people are the same way, for there is nothign new under the sun.
so then, what are we to do? JUMP! and pray like crazy. watch as God does crazy good things through you as you trust in Him and do what He wants you to do.
He cares for the little birds and they are not made in His image as you are. so don't worry, be happy. trust God. Pray. He'll be faithful. stop sinning and ignoring the Spirit. do what is right. trust and obey. follow Christ. pick up your cross. leave father and mother and follow after Him.

Monday, April 5, 2010

thoughts on a public ministry

as many people know and to those of you who don't, i want to be a pastor. it is the only thing that i can possible do with my life that i know that i would not be wasting my life doing and i don't want to waste my life so i must be a pastor.
i have heard other pastors so that the greatest need of their congregation is their pastor's personal holiness. while i think that is needful, i would go a step further and so that the greatest thing for a pastor's soul is his personal holiness. a pastor is held responsible for the souls of his congregation. if he doesn't teach the truth to the best of his ability and do as much as he can for his flock, then it is on his soul in the end of time. so then what is the best thing for the congregation? by what means will they get the purest form of the truth? if the pastor is personally holy.
so, a pastor must seek to be holy for his congregation's sake and because of their sake, it is then for the pastor's own sake. so a teacher must first be holy for his congregation, and then for himself.
i have much work to do. i am so far away. there is so much time that i waste that i could be doing things that will help me. i must put off my childish acts so that i may be personally holy as i teach this summer and then through out my life. one thing is that i must spend way less time doing silly things on the computer, mostly on facebook and hulu. i must stop. it is fruitless. there is one thing, one book that i must know above all and that is what i must be spending my time in. at this stage in my life, i am in the desert as paul spent his 3 years in the desert. this is my time to learn all that i can so that in the days to come, i will be able to teach and not labor to study as i must now. reading and studying will always be an essential part of my life, but not near to the point that it must be now.
it's time to kill some flesh

and here we go

i just finished habakkuk this morning as i am reading through the bible and it struck how these men where prophesying about the destruction of nations and how the people alway thought that they were fine and that the end was not near. then the end came and they were killed and basically all went to hell.
it is interesting to read this about something that happened 2700 years ago (i'm guess at the date, i'm not really sure how long ago it was but i should be in the ballpark for the date) and it happened back then, meaning that the destruction did come. so what of today? in the NT there are multiple references about how we are in the last days and that was over 2000 years ago, so what are we in now, the moments? so if we are in the last moments, shouldn't we be using our last moments for what really matters and what really counts? we need to step up and live like it is our last day because it could very well be our last day. we have no idea when the lord will be coming back so we should get up and do the work that we are told to do.
we must be active

Sunday, April 4, 2010

who is God?

i got up at my normal wake up time today so that i could get ready for church today as i do on most every sunday. today i have some extra time though because i don't have any extra sound tech work to do before church (which i just remembered in writing this that i do, so i will have to leave a few minutes early but that is fine). so because i have extra time, i thought that i would spend it in prayer for that is something that i struggle with, praying for long periods of set time. i thought that i would try to write it down to help me better stay focus, but a curious thought hit me. i enjoy writing. i like to spin words to make them sound nice or poetic or whatever. i like to write. so while thinking about writing out a prayer, i thought that if i were to do this, i would be writing and not praying. it would quickly turn into how do i want to state this rather than a conversation with God. i would be writing something nice but not sincere.
how often do we do this any ways in our normal day-to-day prayers? we talk one way in life and then we talk a different way to God, no, they should be the same. we first need to elevate our daily conversations but we also need to truthfully pray to God. it isn't good to say the "right" words and yet not even know what or possible even who you are talk to or about. we need to know the God we are praying to and we need to pray to the God that we know. we should look at our prayers and ask, "do we really believe that?" and go from there. there is also the other side, if we do believe it, does our lives show it? do we live as to the God that we pray to?
both sides of this is something that i am guilty of, which probably means that most people out there are guilty of at least half of this sin (which is really a whole sin but i won't get into that).
so then pray to the God that you know, and know the God that you pray to

Saturday, April 3, 2010

the frailty of my soul

while looking to this easter season that we are now coming into, i look to myself to see how i am while in this graceful season of my life. as i look into my own soul, i am scared at what i find. i see a young man who, instead of living for God, i live for myself. i follow the laws of God that are convenient at the time for me and i am scared that i am like that. i want to be a man after the heart of God, not one who pleases self.
i see the problem and i pray that God will give me the strength to do what i must. i can't live like the world. i am set apart; i am different; i am alive; i am saved, yet i live just like the world. this is not to be. i see my heart and i see filth, not Christ. what am i to do? i am so weak, there is nothing i can do. i always fail. no matter how long i stop a sin, i eventually fail. there is much fighting, much parrying and many wounds in this battle for my soul, but i see little victory, only failure. how can i cleanse my heart? there seems to be no end to the rags that are needed to cleanse my heart. i trample on the robe that i am clothed with, that Christ gave me to cover my sins.
i do not make little of Christ's sacrifice. i know i am perfectly clean in Christ. this is not the point. the point is that i am to live like Christ now that i am save and i see myself falling short here. the only reason i fail is because i choose sin over God and nothing else. the good that is worked in my i know is only of God because of how black my heart is. i need more Christ in my life, the problem is that i already have Christ and Him to the fullest for he withholds no good thing from His children. i am just so sinful. my past sins are forgiven but it is my future sins that i am worried about. i see the sin that my flesh wants to do and i am afraid that i might do it. what am i to do about a soul that is run by it's flesh, for my flesh is so weak thus making it strong.
i pray that i my surpass paul and do the things that i want to do and not do the things that i don't want to do.

Monday, March 29, 2010

jeremiah

i just finished reading the book of jeremiah this morning and i have to say that this guy did not have a fun job. i, like most people, don't like to do uncomfortable things. this guys job description was uncomfortable things. God came to him when he was young and told him that he was going to bring God's Word to the people and this word was one that would predict their fall and destruction. most people don't enjoy being told how and by whom they are going to be killed by, it's not fun to know. jeremiah though goes on for 51 quite long chapters basically all saying how the people are going to die or be captured and then records their response which isn't generally good.
the thing though that gets me is the 1). jeremiah was faithful to say the words of God. he could have just left them to the destruction and said, "forget this" but he instead warns them about what is going to happen.
2). now in chapter 1, God does promise to protect jeremiah and to not let him die. now God does generally use human means to meet His goals which causes me to think that in order to protect jeremiah, he put into jeremiah a spirit of gentleness and genuine love for the people to see them as people and for him to want the people to come back to God. when jeremiah warned to people, i can't get away from the fact that he must have been trying really hard to win them for Christ even though he knew that they were going to not listen. this right here is hard for me. a guy who is speaking to people who will die, trying to win them; while i speak to people who will not die and who have a chance to be redeemed and yet i have trouble talking to them in love in order to win them. this right here does not make sense. i have been praying for a heart for the souls of man for quite some time now and i see some fruit from that, but i know that i need more of a heart for men's souls. to know that there are souls who are joyously running to hell while not knowing it and i have the means to stop them and do nothing to do so, this is sin and is the equivalent, in my mind, of manslaughter. how can i sit by by and watch men burn. this is as sick as nero who played his violin while rome burned after he lit it on fire (a theory i choose to believe :)
while my heart has been turned from stone to flesh, i need it turned to water so that it may more easily splash on others around me.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

a people of praise

isaiah 43:20-21 "the wild beasts will honor me, the jackals and the ostriches, for i give water in the wilderness, rivers in the desert, to give drink to my chosen people, the people whom i formed for myself that they might declare my praise."

i read this verse just now and i was convicted on how little i praise and worship God in my everyday life. i spend most of my day trying to live for God, trying to build up courage to witness, and to live out Christ but i forget the main reason that we humans are on earth. our main goal is none of those things, we were created for one reason, to worship God. yes, we worship God by and through those things, but they are secondary things to the worship of God. however, in order to worship God correctly, we must be striving to live the way that He wants us to live so that we do not only worship Him with our mouths but also with our actions. our mouths though must be there! people were said that they only worship God with their mouths in the bible but we seldom do that outside of church. i know a few people who sing on a regular basis. we should be singing, and if not singing, then talking a lot about God in our lives.

Monday, March 22, 2010

today is the day that i died

today marks my 2nd deathday counting from my event. there has been much change in my life since then. most people, if they were faced with my situation would not find joy in it. much has happened in my life yet this is one of the few things that i would absolutely not change. the amount of good that has come from this is amazing.
here are some of those things: first for other people. i have seen the most growth in my dad in these last 2 years then in the rest of his life and it started at my event and God continued from there. he has gone from the leader of our family that is influenced by God to a godly leader who goes to his knees first and from there, God raises him higher then if he were to stand on his own. my event helped him to trust God more and from there, God has brought bigger obstacles, for my dad, that would cause my dad to trust God even more and more public. it's awesome to see my dad trust on unseen things to take care of all the seen things around him.
my mom has also grown a lot and the best way to put it is that she has grown up since my event. it's cool to think that God has taken a little country girl, had her marry my dad, and make her slowly in to a godly girl though she does still talk like a hick at times ;) through my event, God prepared my mom, slightly, for the life of trust and chaos that would follow. whether it be doctor bills, an engagement, or going to china to get a new brother, my mom really does handle a ton and she handles it well.
its must more difficult to say how my siblings have changed from my event but i can say that in general, we have all gotten close as a family. john has also brought us all together even more which is great. we now do stuff together all the time, or so it seems. i'm not quite used to it yet but i do think its good, though we don't really have any good board games.
it has also been good to see how people around me have responded to it. while it is still kinda embarrassing, my story makes you think about death and the fact that it could come at any second and i am in the 3% of people who survive. so what makes you think you'll have more time? if God will use this event to get people to stop thinking about the life that they are living so that they think about death so that they will think about the life that they are going to be living so that they can live for that life now, i am excited for that. i want to see that happen. that would encourage and bring joy to my heart.

my event has also effected me a lot. k, so that is a little bit of an understatement but oh well. first though, i would not wish what happened to me on anyone else. while it has been great for me, God totally prepared me for this to happen so that it would be a good thing. for this to happen to me was great, it was what i needed. there are though a lot of "tough" things though and i'm sure most people wouldn't enjoy them.
with that said though, i'm glad that i die. my death has been one of the greatest factors for me in finding out what i should do with my life. i now know that there is nothing else that i can do that i want to do and that i would enjoy to do with my life except to do ministry. i would go even farther and say public ministry, some form of teaching/evangelism (i am a coward so i would not at all be surprised if God had me do evangelism because i fear man so much). i feel compelled and convicted that i have to do this with my life, which basically means that if i do anything else, it's sin. so, i have a really short lists of jobs to narrow down, all i got to do is to foster my relationship with God and let Him do the rest (though really my fostering my relationship with God is really all God's doing so i just basically have to do nothing except what i want to do so that's quite nice because what i want to do is to please God, so it works).
also, i have even less energy than i had before i died so i have to think through on how i want to use the little energy i have. this is good for me because i have to only do the things that are most important to me. this really shows where my heart is at. i can't stay up late any more and do everything that i want, i can only do the things that are important to me which means that i have to choose between God and other things. i have seen where i will choose other things but i have also seen how God is working on making me not want those things any more so that i can spend my energy for Him. i am excited to forget the things of this world.

well, there are more things that i could write but my morning is quickly escaping me so i will end it here. but i'll end with this. i can't remember anything that happened the morning that i die. i just woke up a few days later in the hospital. so, if your heart were to go into V.Fib today and you were to pass out instantly and die and be in the 97% of people who don't survive V.Fib, would you be ready to die and would you be doing what you want to be doing when you die? i had 3 EKG and 3 echocardiograms before i die and the doctors said that i was fine. if you haven't had any of that or even if you have, your heart could give out at any second, or really any other organ could give out if God chose to do that to you, and you would die, so what would happen to you?

Sunday, March 21, 2010

what to do?

i am at the point in my life where i have nothing really keeping me where i am at. i have no huge responsibilities that keep me from leaving, no girl, no job that i can't leave really, a church that would support me at least with prayers, and no school. with that said, i am still wondering what i should be doing now. i know that i am called to ministry, i just don't know what ministry. i love kids, people, the lost, souls, teaching, studying, and the world; that basically covers the spectrum, so what am i to do?

i am not really worried about finding out what i am to do but i am worried that i am not spending my time the best way that i can. i do what i can to study as much as i can and i am praying that God would give me an even greater love for the Word. i do struggle much with fear of man so i am also working and praying through all of that, which is discouraging cuz i am so fearful. my prayer life is not good, i would probably call it terrible, which is also annoying. i am praying more than i every have but i am still not praying without ceasing. i am encouraged because i have seen a great part of my flesh killed which i have been struggling to kill for years and at shepherd's conference this year, i don't even remember what it was, but something caused me to realize that i need to trust God's timing with all things and i am now much more content with life in general. it is not enough though to just kill flesh but we also must pray that God would grow our souls. we must become more like Christ, not just less like the world. it takes both things.

so far, this post has been no conclusive, so what is the prognosis? well, all i can do now is to do what i feel led to do. there is one thing that really appeals to me and that is teaching and studying. i love to teach and to have the need/accountability to have to study, that is good for me. so, i am going to do what is needful for that profession. however, i know what God is good and that He can do anything he wants to do with me, so i am totally open to do whatever. i am even loose with my life. i would really have no problem dying. i have died before though it wasn't dramatic, as far as i know. i am not sure i could stand torture but i am not afraid to die. i am curious though how this view will change if God gives me a wife. so as of now, i guess i will be going to school and such though i do not really want to. i would rather just go and be like paul who went out in the wilderness for a few years and then came back and taught. why can't we do that nowadays. i do understand why we do but i wish we didn't have to do it this way. oh well though

Thursday, March 4, 2010

take-aways from day two

going into this conference, i was looking forward to the books that i was hopefully going to get, the singing/fellowship/worship that was going to take place, and the teaching that i would get to hear.
the conference is now 2/3 over and i must say that i am totally encouraged to get home and start living. my soul has been refreshed over this trip and i am so excited to get home and to do my own study and reading and then live it out. i do know that after awhile, some of this will wear down but i also know that if God is willing to keep me faithful in spiritual exercises, then most of this fervor will stay with me, i pray at least.
i want to come home and serve, and through my service - lead. i want to come home and study so that i may understand the person of God so that i may love Him more, so that i can then share and explain this love to other people so that they may love Him more. i want to do that. i want to see God kill sin in my life and to make me more like Him so that i may glorify Him in all that i do. i need and want to pray more so that these things may happen. i want to come home and live with people and not just around people. i want to get involved in people's lives and to allow them to get involved in my life so that we may encourage each other towards Christ and sanctification.

i'm excited, needless to say, to live out what i have learned and i am willing to do what God has placed on my heart as long as i can. now the hard part will take place soon: going home and actually doing all of this that i want to do. i know that at a retreat like this, it is easy to think of everything that we want to do, but in all reality, we can't do it all, i know that. these are just things that i want to do. i know i can't change the world or anything really, but i can, by God help, change myself, and that is the work that i will set out to do. while doing that, i also hope to influence some other people along the way towards Christ as well. this life isn't easy and then we die, but we are not called to an easy life but to a glorified life. nothing worth having is easy to get, why should eternal life be any different. it is the most glorious, great, awesome, wonderful, amazing, needful thing that we can get, so if it is the best, then shouldn't it also be the hardest, most outrageous, difficult, going-against-the-grain thing we have to work for? God is good though, He does all the work, all we have to do it serve Him with our pathetic lives.

we serve a good God.
Singing this morning gave me goosebumps multiple times! It was that good

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

is your life worth defending?

the closing session of the shepherd's conference tonight was a huge encouragement to me in an unusually way. the session was on living with and in integrity. with regards to the whole message, it was a huge kick in the butt to start to live my life the way that i should. i want to only do the things that if this were my last day on earth, these would be the things that i want to do. i am not at all there yet but i do want to do that and i think that in time, i can grow to that. so that was a kick in the pants.

however, there was something in the message that encouraged me that he didn't really say but it did come to my mind and i think that the line can be drawn from the message to this thought:
i have done many stupid and wicked sins in the past but that is just it, they are in the past. i am not judge on those any more, i have been forgiven. i must still admit those sins, but they are dealt with through Christ death on the cross for those very sins. i have been holding onto the guilt from my past sins since i have been convicted on them and i have realized tonight that this is wrong. i have been making little of Christ atonement of those sins. i will still struggle with this but i think that with prayer, God is good and will work me through this.

it is now time for bed so i won't be explaining this more, sorry if that bothers you

Thursday, February 18, 2010

paul, the workhorse of God

Romans 1:1 "Paul, a servant of Christ Jesus, called to be an apostle, set apart for the gospel of God."

this is paul's description of himself and his job. this is what he wanted his "legacy" (i guess i can call it that though it isn't the best term) to be.

i want to draw your attention to one small word though, the word "for." it's in the last phrase of this sentence. this little word gave me a bit of trouble when i first read it, i first thought that it should read "by the gospel" but it doesn't, it says "for the gospel." why is that? i think and believe that paul used to word "for" here because paul knew and understand that he was being used and he knew what he was being used by. he knew that his purpose in life was the gospel. he was called out to spread the gospel and to be a servant to the gospel, the good news of God, which is, in reality, a servant of Christ. for the good new of God is that Christ came to earth to die for our sins, while we were yet sinners, and to then rise from the dead and defeat death for us and to pay and fulfill our punishment so that we may spend eternity with God. this is the gospel, this was what paul as set apart for, this was his mission. he spent his days promoting this gospel and he gave his life while spreading the gospel.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

possession of God

tonight at one28, something struck me that i have heard before but this time it kinda hit a cord with me. it was the fact that we, as christians, belong to God. all of our time, thoughts, and actions now belong to God. everything that we do, we are to do for God. in our church, it seems that the things that are most stressed are the things that we are not to do and we focus so much on not doing them that we totally forget about the things that we are to do. i am totally convicted and convinced that not doing the right things is just as bad as doing the wrong things. we must turn from the bad and not stop but go. go to the good things. go to things that satisfy. go to the things that bring joy. go towards Christ. only then will you be content with your life. only then will your hole in your life be filled.
this is the only done by living on unseen things, living on the things of heaven. we must live, wrestle, struggle, fight, and die for heaven. for if we don't, we will likely go without it. without heaven, there is only eternal hell. in order to not go to hell, you must strive for heaven. you must GO! stop living in this life.

i say this to myself just as much as i say this to anyone else. i struggle with this. i am guilty of living in the now and doing the things to feel good now. i must also fight with this. i fight with this daily. whether or not to watch this or that, to read this or that book, to do one thing over another. these are the same basic things that i also must work on, but it is a good work. these are good things to struggle with for they do lead to heaven. this is a fight but it is a good and noble fight. so fight

live for heaven. live for God.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

you must watch this video. stop what you are doing and watch it




imagine having this being said about you. imagine having this fortitude to keep going without knowing about anyone getting saved from what you are doing for all those years.

this is inspiring. this is why it is so good to listen to and read biographies. they keep you going and give you courage.

God is good to give us a way to remember the past so that we can look at a better future. if we would only live like the people in the past. we must live on unseen things in this life in order to make it to the next.

are you saved? if you were to die tonight, would you go to heaven?

Sunday, February 7, 2010

new brother

well, today is the second day that we have had john and he is smiling and talking more than yesterday, which is good.

it was a complete miracle of God that we even got him. however, this miracle isn't the one that is most important. i know that many people have been praying for him and us that we would get him, but i beg that you do not stop praying for his soul. this is the miracle that really matters. this is what we need to pray for now. please pray for him. pray for us that we may witness to him.

please pray

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

for our good

i must say that i am terribly glad that God is in control of our lives because if He wasn't, i would be going completely insane right about now. there are so many things that i want to happen. yet i am so glad that i can't worry about them because God is going to make the things happen. all i have to do is love Him and serve Him and everything else will simple fall into place. oh, to be in the hands of a great, mighty God who loves us so! it is truly marvelous to have His care surround us. while i am small, God is big. to know that while i am sinful, Christ still saved me and loves me and will work a great work through me, i am honored and humbled. God is soooo Good.

SRMMX

take aways from SRMMX

- small group encouragement: this is the first time that i have really gotten to be around my small group for an extended period of time and i would have to say that i rather enjoyed it. sure, my guys are bone-heads at times but they are really a good group of guys. God has truly blessed me with the guys that i have. they make it a joy to be a leader in one28.

- the greatness of suffering: i would say that i have suffered more in my life compared to the normal person. i would also say that i do not, at all, have it bad. my life is really not that hard. the suffering that i have encountered though has been difficult to handle at times but it is good to see and reflect on all the good that has come from it. my death has greatly altered the majority of the people around me, including myself, and if i can effect the amount of people that i have effected again by suffering more, i gladly would suffer more. even just the change in my own dad has been amazing to see. there is also the change that has occurred in myself that i would not exchange for anything in the world. sure, i will probably never run again (mostly because i am to lazy to work out slowly [i'm really not patient]) i am, in fact, completely alright with that, i actually have always hated running, though i do miss soccer and bball occasionally. but God is so good, He is totally worth it.

i actually can't remember why i wrote down my next two points but i will list them even though i can't expand them like i did the other two. first, the art of breaking. second, taking care of our souls. again, i can't remember the context behind these quotes, sorry.

lastly, the easy burden of living on unseen things: this is perhaps the most contradictory statement i have ever said, which if you have been around me long, i say a lot of contradictory statements (they make people think). so, while living on unseen things is perhaps the hardest thing to imagine doing in a persons life, once you do it, it is so easy and care free. Christ says in Matthew 11:28-30 that while we may have many worries on this earth, we are to take up His burden. in order to put up His burden, we must first take off our own. when we take off our burden, the cares of this world, and put on Christ yoke, life will be easy. sure, His yoke will bring pain and suffering and persecution, but those things are so small compared to what we have set our eyes upon. we must look to heaven and the things that are unseen in this world in order to make it through this world. if we don't have a heavenly focus, then we are focusing on the crap that is around us and it will only bring us down to hell to be consumed along with it.
so i encourage you to look not at those thing which are around you but to those things that are ahead of us, look to unseen things, look to heaven, look to God.

Saturday, January 30, 2010

family?

as most people know, my parents are currently in china at the moment. this is a really cool thing cuz we are getting a brother through this all but really, us kids of quite used to our parents being gone. they have made multiple trips out of the country for a multitude of days before, so this is nothing new.

however, people always ask us if we miss our parents. i generally feel bad but i don't want to lie so i always say "no" because i really don't miss them. sure, it's quiet at home and such but it isn't that bad. i was thinking about it today though and i think i know why i have never missed them. it's because my family is still here. sure, my parents are thousands of miles away, but i have 10 other sets of parents that are a phone call and a short drive away. the community of the church is an amazing thing. i have men i can talk to about anything in my life. i have women who will treat me like their own son. while they can't take the place of my real parents, they are still here for me and my brother and sister.

this dawned on me today after i got a text from the galbreaths. without prompting, they made dinner for us kids. last night, we were invited over to the lugg's for dinner. we didn't ask for anything, they just saw a need and helped out. this is the amazingness of the church and of the work of God. if left alone, people would only look after themselves, yet with God working, they look after each other. sure, unsaved people do nice things for other people but that is only because they have the law implanted on their hearts, from God, and they are compelled to do something.

well, we are blessed for our extended family and God is good! all the time

Saturday, January 23, 2010

when God is big but i am bigger

i have been praying lately that God would reveal my sin to me so that i may know what to "work on." i am a afraid that i may have asked to see something that i don't want to know.

while i was cleaning and getting the house ready for one28 staff meeting this morning, i was thinking about something, i don't remember quite what, and it lead me to think about my pride. since then, i have come to the conclusion that i am perhaps the most prideful person in the world, especially considering what i have going for me. i mean, what do i have to be prideful of? i can't run, let alone show off, i can hardly remember anything that happened yesterday day any more, i look dead tired all the time, i'm a jerk, which people don't really enjoy hanging out with people who are jerks, and i'm a total sinner. so what do i have going for me personally, meaning what have i done? basically nothing worth bringing attention to, yet i act like i know and can do everything. how pathetic is that!

i'm really not happy about how i have lived my life so far, and i'm only 19. that isn't a whole lot of time to screw up, considering that the first 4 years i can't even remember and the next 8 after that are really fuzzy.

so, i have no recognized the problem, that is great, but the poison that is running through my veins isn't going to stop or help me. no, i must do something. these are a few things that i have thought up today as i was thinking about what to do. first off, pray. i must ask God to give me a higher and more thorough view of Himself and more love for other people. also, to cultivate more love for God which i plan to do by focusing on His character as i read through the bible in the next few months. lastly, which this might be the weirdest one that when i am around people to actually engage with them. i have a hard time talking to people in general so this will be a stretch for me but i also think that it will be good for me.

another thought that i had today. i was thinking about my pride and i came to realize that the thing that i loved most about public speaking is that people come and talk to you and thank you and such. it wasn't so much the study part of it, though i do really enjoy that, deadlines are good for me, but i like the spotlight. with that in mind, i have no idea what God wants me to do with my life. i can't be an effective pastor if i just live to speak on sunday and neglect the church, no, it is people work. it is life work. at the same time though, there is nothing else that i love to do, except read but that isn't really an occupation. i feel drawn to ministry, though i'm afraid it may just be my pride longing for it.

i wish i could grasp how small i really am

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

soli deo gloria

in many christian circles, if not all, the main thing in life that is stressed is what we are not to do: don't lie, don't murder, don't lust, don't covet, and the list goes on and on. while this is needful for the christian walk, it is still missing a whole lot.

another thing that is stressed is what to do: serve the elderly, adopt orphans, give to the needy, worship, pray, read your bible, this list also goes on and on and this list also misses a whole lot.

we have the do's and don't's (if that's a word) of the christian life basically memorized but i ask "to what means?" why do we do or don't do all of these things? what is the purpose behind them? why not do them or why don't do them? what is our motive?

this is what, i believe, the real issue. why do any of these things? as the title of this post suggest (to those who don't know "soli deo gloria" means "to the glory of God alone") we are to do these things for a single reason and that reason is the glory of God. in everything that you do, you are to do it for God and His glory. any other reason is sin. doing the right thing for the wrong reasons is just as bad as doing the wrong thing (perhaps not morally but spiritually). all that we do, we are to do for the glory of the God that created us. we were put on this earth for the very purpose of bringing God pleasure and glory. all that He made, he made to show Himself off. He is the only one who can show off and He is going to show Himself off because He is worthy to be shown off. no matter how cool you think you are, you are nothing compared to God. he is the one who made the mountains, the seas, the atoms, the electrons, the quarks, the planets, the sun, the stars, the galaxies, the universe and all matter. He made it all for Himself because He could. He did it all with just His words. this is the God that we are to worship and bring glory to.

i challenge you. look at your life. in what areas can you change or do away with in order to bring God the upmost glory. do not settle for giving Him some glory, He is worthy of all glory. every minute of your existence should be spent bringing glory to God, so do it. it will consume your whole life, but it will be a life well spent. a life that is satisfying. a life worth living.

singularly addicted

first off, i must say that most people who look at my life would say that i don't have much of one. i would agree, i am a rather boring person for someone who is almost 20.

though i may be boring, i would say that i am a man of addictions. i have a completely one-track mind. whatever i set my mind to, that is where my focus is at no matter where i am at. i have realized this in the past few years so i have been careful as to what i have let my mind become addicted to because this addictive nature of mine has gotten me into trouble in the past.

i started to read david brainerd's diary and journal on monday of this week and all through out it, he speaks about his sinful nature and how he falls so often. this then lead me to think about my own life and to start to examine it. i started to look at the "major" sins that our church culture so focuses on and i was doing alright with those (now i'm going to totally fall from typing this). so i prayed to ask God to reveal more sin in my life. i knew that i was still not doing what God wanted me to do, and i knew that He knew what i should be doing, so i asked Him. i got back an interesting conviction, one that will be difficult for me, though great for me (yes, God is so good to give us things to do that are good for us).

i have often prayed that God would make me into a man who is singularly addicted to Him and His Word though i was never quite ready until now (i think) to actually follow through with this. (side note: i read today numbers 25:10-15 where phinehas, because of his zeal, killed a man and woman for their sin, thus saving the israelites from a plague. i then prayed for zeal like this.)

the reason that i have never been ready to follow through with this prayer is because i have alway hung onto the little pleasures of this life and enjoyed them in my free time rather than enjoying God all the time. i have been on a media fast this past week, which media is one of my vices, and this has been great for me. it has shown me how dependent i am on the things of this world. i look to them for comfort and pleasure rather then to God. this is the thing that i seek to change. my nearly-constant prayer this week has been "God is sufficient" and He is. God is all that i really need and with Him, i'll be fine. so with this, i hope to be singularly addicted to God - His character, Word, and the person for God.

this, however, will take on a different form then i ever thought possible. it is not a life of only reading and thinking and praying to and about God. NO! that has been my great mistake. it is not that at all. it is a life that looks like God. so yes, there is much time of prayer and study, but there is so much more than that. there is also the life of reaching the lost (a thing a hugely struggle with). there is also the life of fellowship (another thing i struggle with), and there is also the life of living it out. we cannot go into this world and expect them to be open to the gospel at every turn, some will be open and so we must do that at times, but there is also the part where we live God out for all to see. when you help people for no reason, this shows God. when you are kind, this shows God. when you are patient, this shows God. and the list just goes on and on. theses are the things that we are to do. we are not to be hermits (which is what i would like to be, bad me) but we are to be in the world, though not of it. we are to be the light, we are to be the salt. we are to be the "christ" of this world.

this, i pray, will be my new life direction. God is so good.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

media fast

today, we of one28 heard a great message from nathaniel, from that comes this.

with snow retreat a mere week away and the need for spiritual refreshing needful, i propose this. for this next week, i will indulge in no media other than that which is glorifying to God. this means nothing that is "ok" to watch but only that which is glorifying. basically, i will listen to worship music and read books, specifically David Brainerd's diary and journal. also, for the majority of this week, i plan to get up extra early to spend extra time with God in the morning, mostly in prayer because i also read in the morning so the extra time will be for prayer.

we have so little time left to prepare ourselves for sr and we must captivate it. while most students have finals this next week, God blesses. serve Him first and He will bless you in everything else. don't reject your studies, but i only ask that you put them second rather than first in the things that you have to do.

excel still more, pursue Christ.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

the power of the gospel

i get the opportunity today to speak in elementary chapel at GA. this will be the youngest group i have even spoken to, though i have done chapel for them before with the SLC.
i always have a hard time picking the specific topic that i am going to speak on when ever i get the chance to speak. i was thinking about doing a missionary biographical message, then also possible about pilgrim's progress, but while both of those would have been good, these kids are young, wouldn't it be best to try and win them for Christ when they are this young, and perhaps i might have a hand in that if i were to teach on the gospel. that is why i choose this, the gospel, to speak on today. i want to play a part for winning souls for the kingdom. i now face the challenge of speaking to the kids and to keep them engaged and to then also explain it well to them. luckily for me, God is good, He is the one that saves, all i must do is my best and leave the rest to Him. i must speak and He must work. wow! as humans, we get the easy job, all we must do is to speak about the things that have saved us from damnation, which should be easy to do, and God will use these things to save others from the same destruction. yet i often find myself cowering at the thought of sharing my faith. i have on occasion, but i have also missed many opportunities, and the guys that i had the most impact on are no longer around me for they no long work with me. i have done little with the time that i had with them. i may have spoken to them a few times, but it wasn't near as many opportunities that i had to speak. i was shy. i now must pray for their souls and hope that God will call them through another person, for i have failed. God is good though, He is in control, not me, but i must do better for my own conscience and for His glory. a coward isn't pleasing to anyone.
God is good

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

golden calf

in exodus 32, aaron makes for the people of israel a golden calf and sets it up for them to worship, saying that it is the god that delivered them from the egyptians.
there is the overview. now then, what is wrong with this? aaron didn't set up for them false gods but made something and claimed that it was the image of the real God. so the problem is not false religion. the problem is that aaron tried to set up something from earth as looking like God. first off, if aaron were to make an image of God, he should have made it in the form of a man for we were made in the image of God. however, the second commandment says to not make any graven image to bow down to. so, it doesn't matter what the image is depicting, even if it is supposed to be God, we are not to bow down to it, for we worship and serve an invisible God, one whose very face will kill any man who sees it, even moses, the only man to ever see God with his human eyes, is only allowed to see the back of God. the problem here is that there is an image, it doesn't matter what the image is, for whatever image we set is less than the glory and magnificent of God which would then make it unworthy of worship. only God is worthy of praise.

the israelites try to do the right thing in that they just want an image to put to the name, even though it is also completely wrong, but how much worst are we who put other things in front of God. anything that we put more time, thought, or money into we are setting above God in our hearts. we should make God our focus and not anything else. this is and will be a constant struggle in the life of all believers but it is a good struggle for we should want to please our God, Creator, and Savior. we will fail at this but we must not give up. this is the human life, one of failure, but also one of growth. we will fail again but pray that when we fail that it is not the same as the last time that we failed. we must strive to be better than what we were yesterday. we must strive to know God better. spurgeon said something along the lines of "better theology makes better christians for the better we know our God, the better we can follow him" (that is a terrible paraphrase but oh well, sorry spurgeon). in order to serve someone, we must know who they are and want they like and what they want. so, to serve God better, we must know Him, know His standard, and then do it. this is why spurgeon read, on average, 6 substantial theology books a week. while no one else can basically do that cuz spurgeon was a stud and a genius, we can take that idea and alter it for our lives, even if that means that it is one theology book a decade, something is better than nothing.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

resovled

well, last year my new year resolution didn't last too long but i still rather enjoyed doing it, what would have been blogging every day about something. so this year, i have a new resolution.
while looking at my life, i have noticed that i waste so much time on stuff that doesn't matter. i tend to watch many movies, play many video games, and spend much time watching tv and these are just to main some of the few basics. i think that this is a problem. there are plenty of good things that i can spend my time doing that i actually love to do, so this year, i hope to do that. i want to not watch media except when i am with people (which if you know me, isn't often) so that i can spend more time reading. i have plenty of good books to read that i would like to get around to reading so i'm going to make myself do that this year. also, for entertainment, i want to read biographies about old people, people who have impacted the kingdom. i want to be reading 3 books at a time: one old, one contemporary and then one biography. i know that this will be a positive thing for me to do so i am going to shoot to do this.
any one what to join me?

Saturday, January 9, 2010

constrain yourself to be spiritually minded

a quote from oswald chambers:
"it is possible to have a saved and sanctified experience and a stagnant mind. learn how to make your mind awake and fervid, and when once your mind is awake never let it go to sleep. the brain doesn't not need rest, it only needs change of work. the intellect works with the greatest intensity when it works continuously; the more you do, the more you can do. we must work hard to keep in trim for God. clean off the rust and keep bright by use."