MY call

Psalms 24:3-6
Who shall ascend the hill of the LORD?
And who shall stand in his holy place?
4 He who has clean hands and a pure heart,
who does not lift up his soul to what is false
and does not swear deceitfully.
5He will receive blessing from the LORD
and righteousness from the God of his salvation.
6Such is the generation of those who seek him,
who seek the face of the God of Jacob.

so i am currently interning for one28, our church youth ministry, and one of the responsibilities i have is to teach on corporate one28 wednesday nights, so i have been studying to do so. perhaps the most annoying and amazing parts about this studying and work is the fact that you have to have a constant clear conscience before God in order to do it right. i have worked at another job this past school year and it never really matter what mood i was in at work. i could be mad, happy, or whatever and i could still polish granite to the same standard. studying and teaching God Word is not at all like this. i have to be pure. i have to have confessed and repented of everything i can think of that is sin in my life. i can't hold on to anything in this life in order to simply do my job, which is what makes this job difficult and at the same time, completely worth it. this job is not enjoyable when i want to sin or have just sinned, but it is enjoyable cuz it makes it so that i feel like i can't/shouldn't sin. i am compelled to do this job, and there is little else that i think is worth doing. i wish that i could do an easy job, i am the laziest person alive, i think. i wish i could do a job that doesn't take my whole being. yet i know that there is no other job that i can do and feel whole doing. there is nothing else that i prefer/want to do. i get to do what i want to do. are you?