what to do?

i am at the point in my life where i have nothing really keeping me where i am at. i have no huge responsibilities that keep me from leaving, no girl, no job that i can't leave really, a church that would support me at least with prayers, and no school. with that said, i am still wondering what i should be doing now. i know that i am called to ministry, i just don't know what ministry. i love kids, people, the lost, souls, teaching, studying, and the world; that basically covers the spectrum, so what am i to do?

i am not really worried about finding out what i am to do but i am worried that i am not spending my time the best way that i can. i do what i can to study as much as i can and i am praying that God would give me an even greater love for the Word. i do struggle much with fear of man so i am also working and praying through all of that, which is discouraging cuz i am so fearful. my prayer life is not good, i would probably call it terrible, which is also annoying. i am praying more than i every have but i am still not praying without ceasing. i am encouraged because i have seen a great part of my flesh killed which i have been struggling to kill for years and at shepherd's conference this year, i don't even remember what it was, but something caused me to realize that i need to trust God's timing with all things and i am now much more content with life in general. it is not enough though to just kill flesh but we also must pray that God would grow our souls. we must become more like Christ, not just less like the world. it takes both things.

so far, this post has been no conclusive, so what is the prognosis? well, all i can do now is to do what i feel led to do. there is one thing that really appeals to me and that is teaching and studying. i love to teach and to have the need/accountability to have to study, that is good for me. so, i am going to do what is needful for that profession. however, i know what God is good and that He can do anything he wants to do with me, so i am totally open to do whatever. i am even loose with my life. i would really have no problem dying. i have died before though it wasn't dramatic, as far as i know. i am not sure i could stand torture but i am not afraid to die. i am curious though how this view will change if God gives me a wife. so as of now, i guess i will be going to school and such though i do not really want to. i would rather just go and be like paul who went out in the wilderness for a few years and then came back and taught. why can't we do that nowadays. i do understand why we do but i wish we didn't have to do it this way. oh well though